脆弱的力量

 shame is really understood as the fear of disconnection. Is there something about me, that people know it or see it, that I won't be worthy of connection. the thing i can tell you: it's universal; we all have it. the only people who don't experience shame have no capacity for human empathy or conncetion. No one want talk about it, and the less you talk about it the more you have it. What underpinned this shame ,this \"i'm not good enough\not thin enough, rich enough, beautiful enough , smart enough, promoted enough. The thing that underpinned was excruciating vulnerability, this idea of , in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.And you know how i feel about vulnerability. I hate vulnerability. And so i thought , this is my chance to beat it back with my measuring stick. 自信和恐惧

I divided into people who really have a sense of worthiness, a sense of worthiness, they have a strong sense of love and belongging; and folks who struggle for it, and folks who are always wondering if their good enough.There was only one variable that separated the people who have a trong sense of love and belonging the people who really struggle for it. And thhat was , the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they're worthy of love and belonging. That's it. They believe they're worthy.and to me , the hard part of the one thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear that we're not worthy of conncetion.

勇气（最初定义是真心告诉大家你是谁）

These are whole-hearted people, living from this deep sense of worthinese. And so here's what I found. What they had in common was a sense of courage. And these folks ,had this courage to be imperfect. They had the compassion to be kind of themselves first and then to others, because, as if turns out, we can't practice compassion with other people ,if we can't treat ourselves kindly. And the last was they had connection, and, this is hard part, as a result of authenticity, they wer willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were. The other thing they had in common was this ,they fuuly embraced vulnerability. they believed what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. They just talked about it being necessary. They talked about the willing to say \"I love you \" first. the williness to do something where there are no guarantees, They're willing to invest in a relationship that may or may not work out. They thought this was fundamental.

when we numb vulnerable, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we mumb happiness . The

other thign we do is we make everything that's uncertain certain.

对于孩子教育

\"You know what? You're imperfect, and you're wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.\" That's our job.

留给大家的话

to let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen; to love with our whole heart , even though there's no guarantee, to practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror, when we're wondering:\"Can I love you this much?\" to believe that:\"I'm enough.\"