A. A brief introduction to the background of Reply to Li Shuyi Reply to Li Shuyi is a poem written by Mao Zedong in memory of his beloved wife and his comrade. Li Shuyi was a teacher of Chinese in No. 10 Middle School of Changsha, who was a classmate and a good friend of Yang Kaihui--Mao Zedong’s first wife. In 1924, through Yang’s introduction, Li got to know, and later on married, Liu Zhixun; Liu was then one of Mao’s comrades-in-arms. In the summer of 1933, word came that Liu was killed in a battle. Weighed down with sadness, Li could not eat or sleep well; she later on wrote a ci-poem To the tune of Buddhist Dancers(《菩萨蛮》) in memory of her husband. It was not until the foundation of the People’s Republic of China that Li acquired the exact information about the death of her husband. On January 17, 1950, Li wrote to Mao, telling him how did Yang Kaihui die, and Mao replied to her on April 18.In January 1957, Mao’s poems (18 in all) were published in the first issue of the magazine Poetry in Peking; this reminded Li of a ci-poem On the Pillow to the tune of The Fair Lady Yu(《虞美人·枕上》) that Mao wrote to Yang when they first fell in love many years ago. However, Li could only remember the first two lines, she thus asked Mao for the whole piece, and in her letter, enclosing her own Buddhist Dancers on February 7. On May 11, Mao replied, “the poem Kaihui told you is not fine enough to be rewritten; here is enclosed a ci-poem Immortals to you. This sort of poetry is different from ancient poems about immortal, i.e. the poet himself does not appear in the poem. But in ci-poems about the seventh evening of the
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seventh moon”. The poem Mao mentioned in the letter is the poem above. On November 25, Mao agreed to publish the poem on condition that the original title Immortals is changed into To Li Shuyi. Thus, the poem was published in Journal of Hunan Normal College on New Year’s Day of 1958. In the 1963 edition of Poems of Chairman Mao, the title To Li Shuyi was changed into Reply to Li Shuyi. B. A brief introduction to “Triple Beauty” theory
Chinese language is beautiful in three aspects: in sense so as to appeal to the heart, in sound so as to appeal to the ear and in form so as to appeal to the eye. Therefore, Mr. Xu Yuanchong, a well-known translator both home and abroad, proposed “Triple Beauty” theory in translation, that is, the translated verse should be as beautiful as the original in sense, sound and form.
Beauty in sense means that the translated version should be faithful to the original in sense, and there should be no mistranslation, nor should there be over-translation or under-translation. Beauty in sense may come from historical associations, which will get lost in translation. However, the loss can be made up for by poetic diction. In order to bring out beauty in sense, we may choose the best possible words in the best possible order, borrow poetic diction from English and American poets and enhance beauty in sense by adding beauty in sound or in form so as to make up for the loss in either or both.
Beauty in sound lies chiefly in rhythm and rhyme. In Chinese poetry, rhythm consists chiefly in even and oblique tones, which may be represented by strong and weak beats in translation, that is, a verse many be translated in iambics, trochaics, anapaestics or dactylics. Classical Chinese poetry consists chiefly of five-character and seven-character
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lines. The former may be replaced by heroic couplets and the latter by Alexandrines. As to rhymes, it would be a happy translation if the English rhymes could more or less resemble the Chinese. Therefore, English metres can be used for representing Chinese tones, English rhymes can be used for replacing Chinese rhymes, while alliterations, assonances and repetitions can be used for bringing out the original beauty in sound.
Beauty in form lies chiefly in line length and parallelism. Attention should be paid to line length and parallelism to bring out beauty in form. However, beauty in form is not as important as beauty in sound, still less than beauty in sense. Since beauty in sense is of first-rate importance, beauty in sound is of second-rate importance and beauty in form is of third-rate importance, we should do our best to make our version as beautiful as the original in the three aspects. If impossible, we may first leave out resemblance in form as in sound, but we should try our best to preserve the original beauty in sense. C. THESIS
The thesis will give an in-depth analysis of Reply to Li Shuyi through the comparative study of six different translated versions with “Triple Beauty” theory as its basis. The ultimate aim lies in exploiting a relatively satisfactory way for the better representation of Mao’s poems, especially Reply to Li Shuyi and Chinese classical poetry so that it can maximally reproduce the original beauty which is so peculiarly unique to Chinese rhymed verse，and furthermore eliciting some reflections on poetry translation and translation study.
The thesis will delve into the perspectives such as the translation of titles, tune names, puns and allusions, handling with images and figures of speech, as well as
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reproduction of meter, rhyme and equivalence in form. The thesis mainly emphasizes on how the poetic style, poetic flavor, imagery and culture conception of the original poem are preserved and refreshed in the translated versions, especially when the translator balances the manipulation on the dynamic equivalence and resemblance between the original and the translated piece from three aspects—sense, sound and form.
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II.The display of six different translated versions A. The authorized version REPLY TO LI SHU-YI -- to the tune of Tieh Lien Hua
I lost my proud Poplar and you your Willow, Poplar and Willow soar to the Ninth Heaven. Wu Kang, asked what he can give, Serves them a laurel brew.
The lonely moon goddess spreads her ample sleeves To dance for these loyal souls in infinite space. Earth suddenly reports the tiger subdued, Tears of joy pour forth falling as mighty rain. (Poems of Mao Zedong 66) B. The version translated by Xu Yuanchong THE IMMORTALS--REPLY TO LI SHUYI
Tune:“BUTTERFLIES LINGERING OVER FLOWERS” You’ve lost your Willow and I’ve lost my Poplar proud, Their souls ascend the highest heaven, light as cloud. The Woodman, asked what he has for wine, Brings out a nectar of laurels divine.
The lonely Goddess of the Moon, large sleeves outspread, Dances up endless skies for these immortal dead.
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From the earth comes the news of the Tiger o’erthrown, In a sudden shower their tears fly down. (Xu 88)
C. The version translated by Gu Zhengkun REPLY TO LI SHUYI
To the tune of Butterflies Love Flowers
You lost your darling Willow and I my Poplar proud, Both Poplar and Willow soar gracefully far above the cloud. They ask Wu Gang about what he has there, It’s the laurel wine that Wu offers them to share.
The lonely goddess of them moon spreads her sleeves long, To console the loyal souls she dances in sky with a song. Suddenly the news about the tiger subdued comes from the earth, At once the rain pours down from our darlings’ tears of mirth. (Gu 143)
D. The version translated by Zhao Zhentao Reply to Li Shuyi
I lost my proud Yang, you your Liu. Like catkins of poplar and willow, They soared up lightly to the blue. Wu Gang was asked what he could offer; The god served an osmanthus brew.
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The lonely Goddess of the Moon Danced in her ample sleeves in heaven. Granting the loyal souls a boon. On earth the tiger got defeated. The news caused pours of tears so soon! (Zhao, 1980, 147)
E. The version translated by Huang Long
I was bereaved of my proud Poplar, and thou a Willow of thine;
Poplar and Willow gently wing right up to the very heaven of heavens of nine. Wu Gang, upon an inquiry as to what’s available for his offer, Serves out with open hands osmanthus wine. Waving long flowing sleeves, Change E in solitude. Dance for these staunch souls in the myriad-li endless sky. At the sudden tiding of the Tiger on earth having been subdued, Burst into downpour of rain, their tears fly. (Huang 94)
F. The version translated by Nancy Reply to Li Shu-yi I lost my proud Yang, You your dear Liu.—
Light as yangliu in the wind, they soar Straight to the Realm beyond the blue.
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What, ah, has Wu Kang of the moon brought? In outstretched hands he bears A cup of kwei blossom brew. Lone Chang-O steps out too, Our martyr-souls to entertain.
Ample sleeves spreading, she whirls in dance Ten thousand leagues over the skyey main. There, comes word of Tiger Subdued on earth. Tears of joy fly—
Lo, a downpour of celestial rain! (Lin 54)
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III. Comparative study of translated versions A. Translation of the tune name and the title
As an image, butterfly has two typical forms in the Chinese culture. One form is the meaning in the ci-poem “Die Lian Hua”(蝶恋花). This form gives readers a personalized meaning, which can remind the readers of the intimate relation between butterflies and flowers. Another form lies in a classic story named Liang Zhu(梁祝), in which the plot “Hua Die”(化蝶) occurs, implying eternal love. Both of these two forms represent the love between lovers, and this concept is well accepted by Chinese people.
The tune name generally does not associate with the poetic content very closely, and most western readers could not understand the deep meaning and the culture background of the tune name. Since tune names are meaningless symbols for the westerners, some translators chose to omit the translation of the tune name, such as Nancy, Zhao Zhentao. On the contrary, the authorized version translated the tune name into Chinese phonetic alphabet, which will puzzle the western readers very much, because they do not know the meaning of these assembled alphabets, nor do they understand the culture background of the tune name without any notes. Gu Zhengkun translated the tune name as “butterflies love flowers”, which is better than the authorized version. His version provides the readers of the concept that the love and the relation between butterflies and flowers. However, love is a general term, and what it can offer to the readers is only inkling. Hence, there is no denying that Xu Yuanchong’s version is the best. In his version, he chose the word “linger” rather than the word “love”, which is more concrete, more dynamic, more appealing and more impressive. His version offers the readers with the vision that butterflies are flying
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and lingering around the blossom of all kinds of flowers and are not willing to leave, which is much easier for the readers (especially the westerners) to be more aware of the essential meaning of the tune name.
Concerned with the title, Xu Yuanchong’s version is characterized in the adding of “The Immortals”. In Mao Zedong’s reply to Li Shuyi of 1957, “The Immortals” were chosen by the poet as the title of the poem, thus Xu Yuanchong’s version seems more faithful to the original one. It will also help us to imagine the scene that the hero and the heroine are roaming in the heaven, being catered by the woodman—Wu Gang. “The Immortals” also speak out Mao Zedong’s hope that long live Yang Kaihui, long live Liu Zhixun, and long live all the heroes. Although they suffered a lot when they were alive, they will be very happy after their souls flying to the heaven, and their spirits will always inspire us to fight for freedom, for happiness and for justice. Xu Yuanchong also makes a concise note for the title, whereas Gu Zhengkun provides a note for the title with more than five hundred words. The note aims to explain the relationship between the hero, the heroine and the poet, but it may be too thorough for the readers to finish the note patiently. None of the other versions offer any notes.
B. Translation of puns and comparative study of the first two lines
Puns can improve expressive effects by using a word that has two meanings ,which is a common rhetoric speech both in English and Chinese with a long history. Since puns are deep-rooted in culture and language, translation of puns is always a demanding job.
The words “yang” (poplar) and “liu” (willow) in this poem literally refer to the plants, originally two kinds of trees: poplar and willow. The subtlety here is that “poplar”
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(Yang) can suggest poplar flowers just as “willow” (Liu) can suggest willow catkin. Poplar in Chinese is pronounced as“yang”，the same as the pronunciation of the family name “yang(杨)”, while willow (liu) has the same pronunciation of the family name “liu(柳)”. In fact they refer to “Yang Kaihui”—Mao Zedong’s beloved wife and “Liu Zhixun”—Li Shuyi’s husband respectively. The pun in this poem is a homophonic pun, which depends on sound identity. The puns here has two meanings, one is the literal meaning while the other is implied meaning. Although the poet actually refers to the revolutionary martyrs, he used the sounds of their surnames, which are also the names of two plants.
Both of poplars and willows have been used by numerous poets and writers in ancient times as well as present times in China, so they both have their own symbolism in Chinese culture. They can be categorized to cultural images in some way, for if they were mentioned, the Chinese people can feel their essential meaning naturally. Poplar is the incarnation of honesty and rightness, while willow is the symbol of tenacity and diligency, and these characters are what Yang Kaihui and Liu Zhixun have.
Willow’s pronunciation in Chinese is very close to a Chinese character “liu”(留), which means that somebody asks his intimates to stay with him rather than leave. When friends have to depart from each other, people often use willow to express their reluctance to leave. After Sui and Tang dynasty, Chinese people began to take willow as a symbol of farewell, which become a custom of China. Meanwhile, willow also has the function to arise people’s yearning towards their relatives and friends. In western culture, the drooping tresses of willow are also endowed with a sorrowful meaning. Willow, also called weeping willow in English, stands for grieves, especially grieves caused by the loss of the spouse or
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the lover. Therefore, willow in both Chinese culture and English culture has the similar cultural connotation.
The first image that comes into the readers’ view is the “proud Poplar”, which will easily remind the readers of the heroic bearing of Yang Kaihui, who was always busy with her revolution industry. The image of willow also shows the poet’s regrets for the leave of the two heroes. These two images were translated in two kinds of way. One way is to translate according to the meaning, and the other way is to translate by the sound.
In the authorized version, Xu Yuanchong’s version, Gu Zhengku’s version, and Huang Long’s version, the images are translated in the first way. Therefore, “proud Poplar” and “Willow” is employed. The readers can easily figure out that the images were personified, dignified and sublimated with the capitalization of the initial letters. The readers can also comprehend Mao Tse-tune’s proud feeling toward Yang Kaihui from the very word “proud”. Except for Xu Yuanchong’s version, the rest versions are all translated like “Poplar and Willow soar to the heaven”. It is common sense that all plants are firmly rooted in soil, never to say that they can soar or fly, which is illogical. On the contrary, Xu’s version is distinguished of “their souls”, which not only combines the surnames of the heroes and the plant names, echoes with “loyal souls” in the following lines, but also illuminates the kernel of the poem very well. Meanwhile, the cultural connotation is emphasized through the free translation.
Zhao Zhentao’s version and Nancy’s version were finished in the second way. The readers can only know the surnames of the heroes who have passed away. Nancy did not enclose a note to introduce the background, and thus it is impossible for the westerners to
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perceive the melancholy hidden in the poem. Zhao Zhentao exploited a simile to make up his version and added the plants names into his version, which is better than Nancy’s, but still less wonderful than the other translators.
In the first line, Huang Long’s version is the most impressive for his choice of words. “Bereaved” means that somebody lost a close friend or relative because they have passed away, hence the word can better illustrate the poet’s sadness for losing his beloved wife with more affection than the word “lost”. In addition, the poet is a bereaved husband, while Li Shuyi is a bereaved wife. Thus, the very word “bereaved” forms another pun, which illustrates the original poem sublimely. “Thou” and “thine” all came from the Middle English, which is more vivid and more brilliant than the others’ choice, for it preserves more ancientry in the original poem compared with other versions.
In the first line, only Xu Yuanchong chose to use present perfect. This tense revealed that the bereaving of Yang Kaihui laid huge impacts on Mao Zedong, and the impacts last for such long time that even after more than thirty years Mao still can not relieve.
The second lines depicted how the souls of the heroes fly to heaven. The phrase “qing yang” (轻飏) of the Chinese is original, which was translated into different versions, such as “soar” in authorized version, Gu Zhengkun’s version and Zhao Zhentao’s version; “ascend light as cloud” in Xu Yuanchong’s version; “gently wing” in Huang Long’s version. The character “yang” carries a definite wind-image in Chinese which is absent in its English equivalent word “soar”. To bring out the full image effect of the line, “Light as willows in the wind they soar” is actually a more adequate and faithful rendering than “Like willows they soar” as found in current translations. Thus Nancy’s version and
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Zhao’s version is better than the authorized version and Gu’s version. Xu’s version is very vivid, “light as clouds” manifests the springiness of the souls when they were flying. Huang Long’s version can help us to imagine that the heroes are flying with wings like the angles, which is also very beautiful. “The transferred meaning of the word “wing” can be paraphrased in an ancient Chinese legend, which says people can ascend to the heaven and become immortal. This legend in Chinese called “yu hua”(羽化)” (Huang 95). Thus, the very word “wing” can echo with the original title THE IMMORTALS. “Chong xiao jiu(重霄九)” is “jiu chong xiao(九重霄)”in Chinese，which means the highest place of the sky. Mao Zedong’s reversing of the phrase sequence is for the sake that he prefers to make an end rhyme through the reversing. The authorized version translated this image as “the Ninth Heaven”. Obviously, this is a literal translation. Every person knows heaven is a place of great happiness, delight, and pleasure, which is the abode of God, angels as well as the souls of those who are granted salvation, and people there will get everlasting bliss. However, “the Ninth Heaven” may lead to ambiguity and mislead the westerners, because whether there is a “ninth heaven” in western culture is argued. “An ancient Greek named Hipparchus once pointed out that the heaven has nine layers with the ninth heaven being crystalline sphere” (Zhao, 8, 1979); Dante’s Divine Comedy also mentioned the empyrean, a word used as a name for the firmament, the dwelling place of God and the blessed, as well as the source of light. Whereas, “there are also some people holding a different idea, and they believe that the highest heaven in the western culture is the seventh heaven, in which God and angels live” (Hua 207) and (Chen 576). Thus we can conclude, the phrase “Ninth Heaven” is a choice, but it will not be the
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best choice. Xu Yuanchong’s “the highest heaven” and Huang Long’s “the very heaven of heavens” both are faithful to the original poem and are better than “the Ninth Heaven”; Zhao Zhentao’s “the blue” and Nancy’s “the Realm beyond the blue” are translated according the meaning, which can be easily understood by the westerners; Gu Zhengkun’s “far above the cloud” also preserved the original meaning very well. C. Translation of allusions
Allusions are one of the most brilliant essences in both Chinese and English， which are succinct in form but profound in meaning. Allusions are reference to famous persons, things or event that writers suppose are familiar to their readers. This suppose is on the basis that their readers share the knowledge or belief with them having a common historical, cultural and literary heritage, which can enable the readers to identify the allusions and to understand their essence.
In this poem, there are three allusions in total, that is, the allusion of Wu Gang(吴刚) and Chang-E(嫦娥), which are reference to Chinese myths, and the allusion of “tiger subdued”(伏虎), which is reference to a religious legend.
Wu Gang is a mythical figure in Chinese culture. He was a native of the West River in the Han dynasty, who sought after the way of Immortality. Owing to a casual offence of divine law, he was condemned to the Sisyphean labor of cutting a huge sweet osmanthus tree in the moon, and the tree is 5,000 feet tall, which healed itself after every stroke of Wu Gang’s axe. Thus the term of servitude inflicted upon him is permanent. The legend of Wu Gang was expressed perfectly by the combination of the word “the woodman” and the word “divine” in Xu Yuanchong’s version, meanwhile, “woodman” also introduces the
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identity of Wu Gang. Hazes, guesses and obscurities caused by different understanding with different cultural backgrounds are reduced in a great way due to the adoption of domestication strategy. Other translators chose to translate the allusion with its sound in Chinese character. Literariness of the original is not spoiled with the allusion being implicit in the target language. Although target language readers’ acceptability is challenged, foreignization will raise westerners’ curiosities and transmit the brilliant Chinese culture to the world.
Chang-E is another mythical figure, who fled to the moon, living an eternal solitary life after secretly taking the elixir of her husband Hou Yi(后羿), the Archer ,who had received the elixir from the Queen of the West(西王母). Chang-E in the authorized version, Xu’s version, Gu’s version and Zhao’s version is all translated as “the lonely moon goddess”. In western culture, there are also moon goddess such as “Diana”, “Helen”, “Phoebe” and “Artemis”, which are well accepted by the westerners. If Chang-E is translated like those names, the cultural image of the original poem will disappear, because none of those images have the meaning of solitude which is a special feature of Chang-E, meanwhile, in western culture moon is a goddess itself. Therefore, the version “moon goddess” will make the westerners feel the familiarity, but this version will mislead the westerners in another way, for the moon goddess in their mind is different from that in our mind. However, after adding the word “lonely”, meaning of solitude is conveyed. Huang Long’s version and Nancy’s version chose to keep the image as it was, which is foreignization. Readers can understand the background of the image after referring to the notes.
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“Tiger subdued” is a religious allusion, which says there was a feral hungry tiger always staying and roaring at the outside of a temple. An arhat of the temple perceived the hunger of the tiger, so he fed the tiger with some food divided from his own food, and years later the feral tiger was tamed by the arhat. In this poem, “tiger subdued” alludes to the ultimate overthrow of the Kuomintang(KMT国民党) rule in 1949. All the translators chose tiger to express the cruel tyranny of KMT and the ferocity of reactionaries. Most of them chose the verb “subdue” to illustrate the success of conquering of the enemies, Zhao Zhentao’s “defeat” also conveys the same idea, and Xu Yuanchong’s “overthrown” is for the concerns of forming an end rhyme. D. Translation of the action verb “peng (捧)”
A subtler case exists with the action verb “peng” in line four. “Peng” means holding something with both hands, which carries an implied cup-image or flask-image in addition to a hand-image. To translate it simply as “present”, “serve” “offer” is to strip off all the image richness of the original for a barren prosaic presentation. An express indication of the implied pictures of hands and cup is almost imperative. Huang Long’s “with open hands” emphasizes the unlimited respect for the loyal souls, which also has the means of “generosity”, so this version is very appropriate.
E. The choice between domestication and foreignization
In Chinese legend, the trees on the moon are sweet osmanthuses. When wine on the moon is mentioned, people will associate the wine with “gui hua jiu”(桂花酒) naturally，and the vintage must be prepared for the gods in the moon. In fact, “gui hua jiu” is made of common white wine with sweet osmanthus flowers soaked in it, and a plurality of days
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later the wine will have the flavor of sweet osmanthus.
The authorized version and Gu’ version translated “gui hua jiu” into “laurel wine”, which is domestication. The first stanza of the whole ci-poem is about how did the spirit of the heroes go to the moon and how are they generously catered by Wu Gang and Change-E, which sings high praise for the revolutionary spirit of the heroes. Therefore, we are certain that “gui hua jiu” can not be ordinary wine. On the contrary, it is a symbol of heroes and honors, and “laurel” annotates this meaning accurately, because in western culture laurel represents honors and glories. Those most brilliant poets are called “laurel poet”, too. However, laurel is a Mediterranean evergreen tree, also called “bay”, “bay laurel” and “sweet bay”, which has aromatic, simple leaves and small blackish berries, so we are clear that laurel does not grow in China. In addition, according to Zhao Zhentao’s research, “the flowers of laurel can not be used as flavors” (Zhao, 25, 1978). Therefore, “laurel wine” contradicts with the original poem in sense of “flower”, and “gui hua jiu” can not be laurel wine. Translation like this will mislead the westerners.
Xu Yuanchong also chose domestication when translating “gui hua jiu” and the word “nectar” chosen by him is very appropriate. Nectar is the drink of gods in the stories of ancient Greece, while “gui hua jiu” is the drink of the celestial beings in the stories of Chinese myths. The derivation meaning of nectar is death-overcoming, and the drink was used for confering immortality, while “gui hua jiu” also has the same function: Wu Gang served the heroes with “gui hua jiu”, which also implies the spirit of the brave departed will last forever.
Zhao Zhentao translated “gui hua jiu” as “osmanthus brew”, while Huang Long
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translated it as “osmanthus wine”. Their difference lies in the choice of “brew” and “wine”. “Wine” is a beverage made of ferment, while “brew” is a beverage made by boiling, steeping, or mixing of various ingredients. Therefore, Zhao’s version seems more accurate. However, in Zhao’s version, “the god” and “osmanthus brew” coexist in one sentence, that means, a mythical word and a science word are arranged together, which is very unharmonious. There are also some other translators who translate “gui hua jiu” as “cassia wine” like Engle, but versions like those are too accurate to retain the romantic charm.
Nancy chose foreignlization as the method to translate the image, which retains the ethnic flavors in a relative way. The readers will understand the image better with reference to the note.
F. Comparative study of the second stanza of the poem
In the fifth line, “shu(舒)” is an important verb. Most translators translated this verb as “spread” or “outspread”. “Spread” means to open something so that it covers a huge area, in this sense, versions like those seem to be very faithful to the original poem, however, compared with Huang Long’s “wave”, those versions seem to be less brilliant. “Wave” means to hold something and move it from side to side, and the track made of this movement is like the wave in the sea. If Chang-E would like to wave her sleeves, the first thing she has to do is to spread her sleeves, therefore, “wave” can convey the meaning of “spread”, while “spread” can not convey the meaning of “wave”. Only with the action of spreading the sleeves, the dance of Chang-E can not be beautiful, but if “waving of the sleeves” is added, the dance will be terrific. Therefore, “wave” is a more thorough and
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splendid version. In addition, in Zhao Zhentao’s version, translation of the action verb “shu” is omitted by him, and “Granting the loyal souls a boon” was added in another sentence, which does not exist in the original poem, forming a big deficiency in his version.
“Guang xiou(广袖)”, also named “shui xiou(水袖)”，which are still used in Peking opera today. “Ample sleeves” is utilized in the authorized version, Zhao Zhentao’s version and Nancy’s version, while “large sleeves” is utilized by Xu Yuanchong. In general, the word “ample” often matches with the word “resources”. “Ample sleeves” here not only implies the huge size of the sleeves, but also contain the meaning of abundance and luxury, which reproduces the image of Chang-E dancing gracefully with gorgeous dress. “Large sleeves” only mentioned the size of the sleeves, which lacks of imagery. “Long sleeves” of Gu Zhengkun and “long flowing sleeves” of Huang Long are better than the formers. These two versions close to the reality most. “Shui xiou” are specialized in their length, which can reach the floor when being fully spread, and when the sleeves are waved upward, the gravity of the earth will force the sleeves to fall, thus fabulous circles with various shape can be formed, so Gu’s version and Huang’s version, in particular Huang’s version offer the reader a true-to-life impression.
“Zhong hun(忠魂)” in authorized version, Gu’s version and Zhao’s version are translated as “loyal souls”. This version seems very faithful to the original, and also expresses the heroes’ characters that they are always loyal to the people and loyal to the revolution. Xu Yuanchong translated this image as “the immortal dead”. How can dead persons become immortal? This version seems very contradictory, however, after further
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study, the readers can realize the idea that the translator wants to convey. “Dead” and “immortal” here refer to two different things, that is, concrete world and spirit world. Although their bodies sacrificed, their spirit and their stories are remembered by billions of people in China forever. Therefore, Xu’s version reveals the rational meaning of the original poem, which is very wonderful. Huang Long’s “staunch souls” and Nancy’s “martyr-souls” also explain features of heroes’ spirit. In addition, Nancy’s “she whirls in dance” is very vivid, while Gu Zhengkun’s omission of the image “wan li(万里)” and the adding of “dance in sky with a song” is a faulty expression in translation.
In the last but one line, two versions are little different with others. One is the authorized version, and the other one is Huang Long’s version. The authorized version says that earth reports the news, which is illogical, for earth can not have the action of “report”, and the correct explanation is that news is reported from the earth. Huang Long’s version is special for the word “tiding”, according to his explanation, “the word “tiding” here is equal to “glad tiding”, which means good news, for nobody can deny that “the tiger subdued” is not good news”(Huang 96).
The metaphor and exaggeration hidden in the last line are handled very well through the translators’ effects. “Tears of joy” of the authorized version and Nancy, and “tears of mirth” of Gu Zhengkun are faithful to the poet’s original meaning. In January of 1964, in reply to the requests of the translators, the poet made oral explanations of his poems, and he explicitly said the tears in Reply to Li Shuyi is the tears of joys and excitements. Zhao Zhentao’s version is splendid for the adoption of a series of alliteration with the sound /s/, which is finger-popping and appealing. “Burst” in Huang Long’s version means a sudden
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release of strong feelings and strong emotions, which expresses the image “dun(顿)” very well. Nancy’s “celestial rain” indicated the immortality of the heroes again.
From the last two lines, we can see that the poet does not allow himself to be a slave of sadness for separation for a long time, and the ending couplet echoes the author’s usual militant spirit.
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IV. Conclusion
A. Conclusion of features in the original poem
Reply to Li Shuyi is the only poem made by Mao Zedong with different end rhymes in the two stanzas. The first stanza and the first line of the second stanza end with “liu(柳)”, “jiu(九)”, “you(有)”, “jiu(酒)”, and “xiou(袖)” respectively, which forms an end rhyme with the sound of /ju/, while the rest of the poem end with “wu(舞)”, “hu(虎)” and “yv(雨)” respectively, with “wu” and “hu” forming an end rhyme with the sound /u/.However, the poet would like to retain the tune name “butterfly lingering flowers” at the cost of transmitting the end rhymes. Therefore we can see how the poem was cherished by the poet. Reply to Li Shuyi shows the difference between Mao and other poets in treating the 1ove theme. Mao often makes efforts to avoid an utter indulgence in love’s i11usions bordering on sentimentality．In addition, he often makes his poems end in a spirited tone or merry mood that helps both the author and the reader exert themselves for loftier aspirations. The poem stands as a happy sample of the poet’s imaginative skill of pressing classical myths into modern service, wherein, the combination of personal sentiment and revolutionist dignity reaches a rare height of dynamic balance.
B. Conclusion of the translated versions
The authorized version mainly adopted literal translation method. The original flavor is lessened very much for the lack of musical beauty, that is, beauty in sound in “Triple Beauty” theory. However, this version is very faithful to the original, because the translation work started in 1962 and finished in 1967 when political purge was the most
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important thing at that time, and no slight distortion of Mao’s thoughts was allowed. Therefore, the translators translated the original work word for word to achieve the utmost faithfulness.
Mao Zedong once said that poetry should be refined, regulated and rhymed (Xu preface1). Xu Yuanchong’s version can reach Mao’s standard, whose version is the typical example of regular rhymes. The first two lines in the first stanza end with “proud” and “cloud” respectively, which have the rhyme of /aud/. Then in the following two lines “wine” rhymes with “divine”, and they share the same sound /ain/, and so it is the second part. “Outspread” and “dead” at the end of the first and second lines of the second stanza have the rhyme of /d/ again, and “o’erthrown” and “down” in the last two lines are ended with /aun/. The poem is translated with the rhymes of “aabb, ccdd”. However, the rhymes will show a more regular pattern with further study. The first two lines in the first and second part respectively all have the rhyme of /d/ and the rest lines have /n/. Xu’s version inclined to adopt domestication method with liberal translation.
Gu Zhenkun’s version can also reach Mao’s requirement, whose version is also a good one. The first two lines end with two words “proud” and “cloud” which have the rhyme of /aud/. The next two lines end with “there” and “share” of the same sound. For the second part, “long” and “song”, “earth” and “mirth” also rhymed perfectly. Gu’s version prefers to adopt foreignization in translation process with literal translation enclosed with thorough notes. Gu said that “he has been cautiously on tiptoes to retain the original word order and spareness of diction while still producing a reasonably fluent and rhymed English version allowing it to stand, as much as possible, on its own” (Gu preface 18).
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Huang Long has the rhymed version, too. The first stanza is translated with the rhymes of “aaba”. “Thine”, “nine” and “wine” in the first two lines and the fourth line are rhymed with /ain/ and the latter part ends with “abab”. “Solitude” and “subdued” in the first and the third lines share the rhyme of /ju:d/ while “sky” and “fly” in other two lines have the same sound of /ai/. Huang Long also mainly utilized foreignization as a translation method and made effects to preserve the original flavor, that is, beauty in sense of “Triple Beauty” theory.
Rhymes in Zhao Zhentao’s version are not as regular as Xu Yuanchong, Gu Zhengkun and Huang Long. His rhyme is like “aabcb” in the first stanza, and “ddded” in the second stanza. “aa” refers to the ends of the first two lines ,“liu” and “willow” are in the same sound /ju/; “bb” means the ends of the third line and the fifth line, “blue” and “brew” with alliteration of /b/ and end rhyme of /u:/. The four “d”s refers to “moon”, “heaven”, “boon” and “soon” respectively with the rhyme of /n/. In addition, Zhao Zhentao used a plurality of formal words such as “grant”, “boon” and “offer” to depict the solemn and stirring occasions.
Nancy’s version is considered to be “the most successful one in the perspective of preserving the original flavor” (Zhu 57), namely, beauty in sense. However, her version has no regular rhyme, because “she prefers to make licence and to break the restraints” (Zhu 59). She believed that “licence was a trend in poet translation and regular rhymes would lead to sing-song effect which is not elegant” (Lin, 52, 1980b).
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Works Cited
陈鑫源(Chen Xinyuan). College English Dictionary of Culture Notes. Shanghai: Shanghai
Jiao Tong Universitys Press, 2000.
辜正坤(Gu Zhengkun). Poems of Mao Zedong with Rhymed Version and Annotations.
Peking：Peking University Press, 1993.
华全坤(Hua Quankun). A Dictionary of English Allusions. Peking: The Commercial Press,
2005.
林同端(Lin, Nancy). REVERBERATIONS A New Translation of Complete Poems of
Mao Tse-tung. Hong Kong: Joint Publishing Co.,1980. Poems of Mao Zedong. Peking: Foreign Languages Press, 1976.
许渊冲(Xu Yuanchong). Illustrated Poems of Mao Zedong. Peking：China Intercontinental
Press, 2006.
黄龙(Huang Long). 毛泽东诗词翻译探微 [J]. 南京师范大学学报(社会科学版),1983
(4).
林同端(Lin, Nancy). 译诗的一些体会 [J]. 外语教学与研究, 1980(1).
赵甄陶(Zhao Zhentao). 汉英对照：毛泽东诗词 [M] 长沙:湖南人民出版社，1980. ---.就毛主席诗词英译本谈谈译文中的几个问题 [J]. 外语教学与研究, 1978(1). ---.再谈毛主席诗词英译本译文中的问题 [J]. 外语教学与研究, 1979(2).
朱树飏(Zhu Shuyang). 评介林同端译介《毛泽东诗词》 [J]. 外语教学与研究, 1981(2).
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Appendix The original poem 蝶恋花·答李淑一
我失骄杨君失柳， 杨柳轻飏直上重霄九。 闻讯吴刚何所有， 吴刚捧出桂花酒。
寂寞嫦娥舒广袖， 万里长空且为忠魂舞。 忽报人间曾伏虎， 泪飞顿作倾盆雨。
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